you were mad bc i took longer then 2 minutes to finish
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
whose ass print is on the piano?
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He was my first. He knew. He knew right there I was wrapped around his penis.
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
Also your Swedish friend who's name I don't remember is really good in bed.
*Norwegian
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