Dude. Muppets take manhattan on netflix instant. Pass my midterm or relive my childhood? Tough decision.
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
I gave up. I'm crying over my notes. Oh, ya know, just another drunk finals week
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize