just survived the first fart of the relationship.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
I'll reiterate. Best drinking game ever. I shall teach it to my children's children
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
