I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
i'm at the gym and so are four guys who have seen my tits. i need winter break.
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Question: Is it too early to claim April Fools on the text "can we do some lines before the concert" that I accidentally sent Mom?
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
I just dont understand why you didnt cut me off when I took the funnel into the bathroom and started peeing and funneling at the same time
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
K. The dog and I are outside. The Uber driver said "I hope he fucks the shit out of you"
Randomize
