So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
sometimes i just want to live alone. my roommate keeps looking at me weird like hes never seen a girl eat plain salt before
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
