Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
I really wasn't that bad. I thought I was pretty tame.
When Anthony passed out you poured vodka on his face
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Randomize
