i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
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