"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
So she just apologized to the fire extinguisher.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
Randomize
