Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
At the time, making out with dudes for keg money seemed like a genius idea. Now I realize it was borderline prostitution.
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
If we're going to communicate going forward, you'll need to be versed in Gillian Anderson.
Randomize
