you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
just told my prof that "i dont give a fuck" about the final. nothing like a having a signed employment contract already
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
I don't even know. I woke up to a text from someone named Vick saying he was 'legit worried' that I had herpes.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
Randomize