how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
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