bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
True friendship; bangin a girl to get ur friends hat back
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
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