i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Just bought weed from the ice cream man. The kid in front of me got a tootie fruitie.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
the good news is I finally used my captain america waffle maker to make captain america waffles
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