soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
My grandma paid her handyman in pain killers. I now know why this is in my genes
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
He has a shower chair now. So he sits and watches me shower. It's kind of creepy.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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