I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
Randomize
