Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
It's like my life is one of those movies where after a bunch of outlandish events that only happen in a movie the girl realizes her true life calling and lives a great life with a sexy man of multiple races. But I'm stuck in the fucked up part where 25 year olds come in their pants.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize
