My cardio has turned into running out of the cold from bar to bar.
Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
Randomize
