We're facebook friends in real life
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
once i realized i was actively trying to drink the beer i was sweating out of my body i knew it was time to go to bed
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
