It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Oh my fucking god I saw the pictures. What the mother fucking fuck. Destroy the pictures. Destroy the fucking pictures.
Please confirm the destruction of the pictures. NOW.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
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