I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
Yeah I said my new jacket was waterproof, not puke through your nose proof.
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
HAMMERED.. I made a peanut butter and jelly sandwich with toilet paper instead of bread...
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
