So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
Every time my boyfriend threatens to commit suicide I change my relationship status as "widowed".
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Randomize
