3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
