Gayer than 8 guys blowing 9 guys
wow, that really makes you stop and think.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Need help. Super baked. Stuck on couch. Dying of thirst. Bring paint thinner or something to pry me off. Only thumbs and neck work.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
You can't just leave with hair like that
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Randomize
