if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Bein cut off at a bar is embarassing ...until you get to the next bar.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Last time i carry you out of a forest
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I've been trying to masturbate for the longest time now and so far I've accomplished getting tangled in my computer battery cord and phone charger and hitting my knee on my laptop.
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
Do you just want me to shit in a Jack-o-latern
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