WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
When you get here, kick me in the balls. It's really important. - I'll explain later.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know you're an upperclassmen when you go to a party with no makeup, wet hair, weed socks, and no shoes, take a shot ski, then leave
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
I should have robbed the cradle years ago. Turns out 21 year old boys can cum and still fuck me silly a minute later. My vagina feels like it just won a car from Oprah!
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