He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
it was like eating out sand paper
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
Pretty sure that drunken football on the back porch with 6 guys with a champagne bottle was a bad idea....
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
Randomize
