i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
Yeah, he said he was getting "welcome back Winnipeg Jets drunk" then puked on his jersey.
We need to pull ourselves out of this slump. We need dick and lots of it. We are going to fuck our way to happiness.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize