Just wanted to let you know that I always win at "whose ex is crazier" because of you.
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
I found more straws in my beard this morning. Please stop doing that.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
You were in the back of the cop car and told the cop to ask me if I got laid. Youre a dedicated wingman.
Randomize
