no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just lit a joint with steel wool and a 9 volt battery... thank you 3rd grade science class
I drunkenly asked a stripper to join our volleyball team.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I have 3 texts in my phone that say "Thanks King Tyler". I think I've successfully drank myself into a monarchy.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
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