Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Maybe if i steal enough bar glasses i can justify all the money spent i've spent there
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
i have two emotions: emotionless and blind with rage
They knew I had a party because the refrigerator settings were different, but they don't notice that we installed a new toilet seat so it's okay.
Im gunna just be that one ballerina in the low V leopard thong leotard and everyone else can be boring and prude with their little pink tights on.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
But you can't tell me I give the best blow jobs and then not break up with your girlfriend who has fucking TMJ! Come on!
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
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