I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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