I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Mom said you looked used
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Pulling on my sock literally just took me 5 minutes.. The hangover is real
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Randomize