i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
It's gonna be one of those someone is getting divorced parties
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Randomize
