I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
I bought him bourbon as a thank you for his apology. What is wrong with me?
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
