Porn is love you can see.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
Since you're going to wake up and see one bajillion missed calls from me, I just want you to know that's a perfectly reasonable number. Now come downystairs.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
You had me at "let me see your balls"
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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