You're a womanizer and a bitch.
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
I'm like a wolly mammoth down there. what do I tell him?
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
Randomize
