Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
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