maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
how does a 20 year old who hasnt gone through puberty yet score the game winning goal? fuck sidney crosby and his small nuts.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
I am going to wait until he wakes up to set his couch on fire and then pee it out. That way he knows it was not an accident.
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Randomize