My hair reeks of homosexuality.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
