Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
just reached the point where my breast implants paid from themselves in free drinks.
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
Randomize
