Your tits are I can't wait for
i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
At this point I will cuddle anything to prevent from dying alone
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
I wish I was there to have sex with you on the plane to lessen your anxiety.
That's the nicest thing anyone has over said to you.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
