Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
He tried peeing out of the sunroof.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Sorry I missed your call. Have a great morning.
That is a horrible way of saying good morning to someone. You basically reminded me that we did not hook up yesterday. It's bad enough I got to go to work all day with blue balls.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
