Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
Well, that's not my fault. I make decisions all the time when I'm drunk.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
Randomize
