so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
If you weren't supposed to have sex with your ex then they wouldn't rhyme.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
i got to hold a baby today and i loved it and i want a baby but actually i'm going to make an appointment to get birth control now.
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
