yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
