from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Just got laid for the first time in 3 yrs, 10 mo, 1 wk & 2 days. YESSSS.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
He drove me to my therapist appointment because I was too drunk to drive. Total keeper.
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
