I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
no you went to jail because you don't know how to whisper when offering a cop a blow job. I'm sure him having a chick partner didn't help.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
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