i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
I fill condoms, not promises.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Randomize
