I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
Too bad you can't keep me under your desk. You'd love that wouldn't you? Massages, blowjobs, and I'd be forced to be quiet all day.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
when he pulled his cock out I told him he'd brought a knife to a sword fight
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
