I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
