his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
You're finding a boat, I'm going to sleep with a guy that lives above a bar and has 24 hour access. We are really nailing this adulting thing
You tried to order fondue take-out.
From Taco Bell.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
