Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Dude your neighbors are having a garage sale. They were judging me as I walk of shamed back to my car.
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
My boss want to throw me an everclear birthday.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I drank beer out of a Frisbee and it was all downhill from there...
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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