He was all up on my grill like I was having a BBQ. I DONT EVEN KNOW HOW TO USE A GRILL.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
But you know it's love when you find brass knuckles in the same box he keeps his Naruto action figures.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
