What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
