My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Just found out the guy that gave me herpes died. now everytime I get a flare up, it'll be like he's coming back to say hello
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
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