I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Umm ok I'm kinda freaked out right now bc the chick that lives next door is either having tantric sex or slowly suffocating her dog to death.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The struggles of a small town man whore
Fuck it, if you can't drink cheep beer and whiskey with me, I don't want you.
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
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