He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Used my phone to vibrate 'eye of the tiger'. It's like Rocky is punching my nuts, but gently.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Randomize
