The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
turns out Discover card thinks that if you spend $450 at four different liquor stores in one evening that the card "must have been stolen"
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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