She said her name was "party"
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
be warned: you might find a baby hampster in my bra
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
Randomize
