I was at circle k buying gas and this girl in a papa johns uniform comes up and is like " I've got a bunch of extra pizzas. Large peperoni for $5." then she went to her trunk and pulled one out. It felt like a drug deal for a fat person
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
They woke me up at 6am and made me drink a bottle pf champagne yelling "champagne breakfast!"
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
You sprayed lysol all over me. You said that my soberness was infecting your night.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I'm having salsa con queso and a leftover half-drank/flat red bull for breakfast. Nothing you propose doing today would be a downgrade.
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
You cried for a while then lifted lots of weights then cady's ex put glitter on your tits and then you took a nap. I got you pizza and brought you home. Nothing too exciting.
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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