During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
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