What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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