Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
"Work from home" is code for "morning drinks" right?
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
Say whatever the fuck you want about me, but leave my deceased cat out of it.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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